I have never been someone who enjoyed the objective idea of doing nothing.
My hands always urge at the need of doing something and the mere thought of being unoccupied angers my brain.
Sitting still and enjoying the moment had been a previous nemesis that i am now slowly learning to tackle. I am slowly, slowly, learning to enjoy the mundanity of everyday life without a schedule.
I have also come to realize that doing nothing, especially for students, is nothing less than a boon granted from the skies above after their final exams are over. The freedom initially seems to take the form of this vacuum, this void in your life where you have everything at your fingers but you don't know what to do.
You see, it is in that moment that I truly realized the luxury that comes with this vacuum, amidst my list of movies to watch and books to read and music to listen to I found the most amount of pleasure in being able to do nothing; because after a year of slugging and toiling and memorizing, the timetabling gets on your nerves, you regret coming up with so many plans because doing nothing seems to be more fitting- simply since you now have the option of doing nothing, there are no obligations to be fulfilled, there are no literature quotes to memorize and there are no math sums to be solved. I vividly remember my excitement at the idea of getting to watch Netflix once more, so much so that I came up with separate lists of movies from various genres. combined them to make a grand list and then narrowed it down so that I watched a wide range of particular movies that I needed to watch ASAP (i still ended up with eighteen of these movies); but now that the time has come I seem to want to revel in rewatching FRIENDS or laying in bed watching the ceiling fan circle with a wide smile on my face because what I truly looked forwards to, was to be able to do nothing.
The art of doing nothing cannot exactly be learned, but it can be brought about involuntarily, so even though on most days I would hate swinging and staring into thin air, my timetable consists of doing nothing. Still, I am by no means trying to say I am free because I am not. I am busy, doing nothing- and rather paradoxically, I have never felt freer.
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