Nihilism; The belief that life is meaningless
Often times I seem to forget that my life is one in more than a billion, each one different than the last. Most of the times it hurts to be reminded of the fact that my life is practically negligible, I like to believe that one day my story will matter, but I know that as of today it doesn’t really. There are a million other teens out there, who’s lives I am utterly unaffected by and vice versa.
This was all a violent reminder that my life may make no difference to someone out there right now, someone in the future or someone in the past.
It made me think about how, when looked at from a certain angle, life really doesn’t have any meaning. You could be Beyonce, or Will smith or the greatest in whatever field you choose but there really is no assurance that it means something in the longer run.
This thought usually made me shiver from fear of being pointless, made me want to run and hide from the rest of the world until i learnt something completely new about this harrowing fact.
I started to think about how if this was real, I owed the universe nothing. The stars or gods or whatever is up there, wouldn’t punish me for being something different than i had originally planned. Why, you ask? Simple, because I literally did not matter. I used to be terrified of not having done something ’big’ or ‘memorable’ by the time I was 25, I thought there would be consequences, but the universe was too busy to even notice, the world would keep turning, the stars-moving, the galaxy- expanding. I am not in debt of the solar system, and I won’t ever be. Not really.
